Some Things Are Worth Remembering

I drove Jessica and MaKenna over to their cousin's house this past weekend to spend the night. She reminded me in the car that the last time she had spent the night at this cousin's home was exactly one year ago on the first night of spring break. It was also the same night she found the lump on her neck. And in that moment in my mind's eye, I digitally rewound the last entire year and played it through my mind in Fast Forward to now. My impulse was to say, "wow......... a year I'd just as soon forget."

But then, I visually scanned the unfolding of this past year to date and this massive flood of memories of countless blessings, lessons learned, friends discovered, and faith built I couldn't just throw all that out with the unpleasant experiences I'd just as soon forget.

I look back on where we've come as a family, as a married couple, and then as individuals through this past year and I have to acknowledge that the Lord was intricately and intimately involved. Whether we saw it or not at the time, some of our most painful moments gave rise to some pretty awesome discoveries. I believe that every person can look back on a lifetime and recall bitter experiences. Maybe even times that are just too hard to bring up again, but no one can say that those times were wasted.

No suffering is ever wasted. It adds to our bank account of learning and gives us amazing opportunities to show the Lord what we're made of. It puts us in a surreal place where as individuals, we can either fine tune our communication with God or we can turn away from him.

This past year has changed our lives forever. It has dramatically changed the way we pray. It's changed what matters. It's fine tuned our perspective, our priorities................and even our diet ha ha.

It most definitely has been a Looooooonnnnnnngggggg year for us........For Jessica particularly. The end of chemo can't come soon enough. It's like finishing the end of a marathon. You don't quite finish the race in the same posture or with the same energy as you had when you started out, but you keep going no matter what the finish line looks like.

We've lost friends and loved ones to cancer. We've seen it destroy hopes, and plans and goals. It doesn't differentiate between economic or social status and like this massive tidal wave, it leaves some pretty visual scars in it's aftermath.

However...............

This year has taught me to be grateful for our experiences with pain....................all of it. To see the end from the beginning in the small day to day random decisions in life. To put everything I can't control (and even the stuff I can control) into the Lord's hands and let him be in charge. I've learned that We are never alone and that miserable or not, our suffering can be for our good.
I believe that Jessica has learned even more than she knew before that SHE is a daughter of God and that he IS mindful of her. He knows her needs and he hears her prayers and he acknowledges her pain and succors those who turn to him. She has learned that beauty is not found in hairspray or a tube of lipstick and we are fools to judge others based on what we see.

So as I look back on the memories of what our life was like a year and a week ago, and what life is like now, I am so sure that some things are worth remembering.





I drove all the kids to Jessica's chemo appointment today. We held a family competition on the Wii, had a treat and watched tv while Jessica received her infusion.
Only one more treatment to go and her treatment protocol will be complete. Doctor's will continue to scan her and watch for any potential returns of her tumors.

Chemo will commence on April the 10th 2012 at 11:00 am and we'll let you all know when and where the end of Chemo party will be held.

Jessica's last two treatments really knocked her down hard. She walked in this morning like a happy 15 year old and left barely able to hold her self up. It was all I could do to get her home and into bed. She's got a long hard week and a half ahead.