WHY

Over this past year, so many of our close friends have been deeply personally affected by cancer. It makes my heart sink every time we hear that it has shattered another life. It's a natural thing to want to ask "Why." Why this now?, why them?, Why would the Lord allow it.

I'm sure the answer to that question is different for every person. I won't even pretend to know the answer, but I do know that while the Lord does not always remove our challenges, as heavy as they may be, he does bless us with the strength to push through them. He lifts and strengthens and sends us help and comfort and peace and he will never remove our right to be happy. Even when things look really bad. He sends us people who respond to his call to serve and he will never leave us comfortless. That I know.

He gives us opportunity to draw nearer to him than we ever have before so that we can know him. He refines and purifies our hearts to sanctify us and make us better than we thought we could be. I'm pretty sure the answer to every "Why" is deeply personal to the one's who ask it. But I know we have access to real answers if we'll just ask and listen and then respond.

As a friend to so many who's news seems to go from bad to worse, I feel so helpless sometimes. I want so badly to take their pain away, to make their situation better, but all I can do is lead them to hope. The only source being the Savior Jesus Christ himself. There is no other place to find it.

Our latest on Jessica is that she is responding to the Chemo and yet is still battling the billions of cancer cells still left in her body. She still has good days and bad days. But, for the most part, she is able to function pretty well. She tires easily and still has the sick days following chemo, but we feel at peace with where she is at with her treatments and what she does in addition here at home to fight this. Despite her severe fatigue and even nausea some days, she continues to get up and go to school. Chemotherapy leaves you with a pretty nasty case of brain fog most days and some have memory loss and stupors. But, Jessica has been extremely blessed. She is holding an A in every class and is the top grade in a few of them.

Her journey with cancer is still a pretty personal one to her. I know there is so much that she goes through that even we don't understand. There are days when I can tell she's had enough and just wants to put things back the way they were before all of this, but when you have no choice but to press forward, you just do and you hope you come out the other end of it a better person than when you started.