Right now, we are learning about trust. Trust in Doctors, Trust in medicines, and Trust that the Father's Plan for each of our lives is perfect. It will eventually make us who we need to be if we'll trust his plan and not get in the way of it. We sometimes think we have to control everything. We want things to be all better and somehow, I wonder if sometimes we think that if we pray hard enough, we'll get what we want. If only we could trust enough to pray for what we need.
I'm working on that. I see Jessica struggle with this huge uphill battle right now and there are days when I want to pray to have this all go away and to have the pain or the unpleasantness just be removed from her. But when I really step back and remove myself from that part of it, I know I would be robbing her of growth the the Lord has in mind for her. I really do want her to grow. Heck, I want to grow. It's hard to be that willing to let the Father's plan roll forward and shape you into what you need to be, especially when you know that that shaping process hurts.
We actually had a pretty good week this week. Jessica felt pretty good on Friday and she had a handful of friends come to visit. She made herself be energetic and upright for the evening. It was good to see her smile. Thanks to those of you who came over this week. Your visits really do make her smile.
She managed to go to church with us for the first hour. After that, she was wiped out. We take what we can get.
Chemotherapy and Spinal Tap on Monday (I guess that's today........I really do need to get to bed). She's been really crinkly faced about it. She knows what's coming. She usually feels pretty yukky for a week after these treatments and this one coming up has some of the harsher drugs in it. I expect it won't be a fun day, but as Jessica says, "One more hard day behind us."
So I have to just take a minute to say a thank you to all of you amazing people who have reached out to us and especially Jessica. The notes, the Facebook Page with messages she can't respond to because she doesn't have a facebook account (thank you- she reads them and appreciates your words), the cards, the gifts, the food, the visits, the prayers, the money, the hugs. I've said this before and I'll say it once more........Human kindness is alive and well. It's inspiring and it motivates us all to want to do better.
Ohhh BTW: Our friend Gage, from the hospital is now home. The entire town of Parma remodled his house for him to come home to. He is so excited to be home and start his new life with his new set of challenges. He will do amazing. He is amazing. He's our little chemo buddy, and also an inspiration to everyone around him. Way to go Gage buddy! We love you.
Thanks for the update on Jessica. We pray she can manage the Chemo and the spinal tap today. You are in our every thought and our constant prayers. Janet you and Jessica and your whole family are such an inspiration to us. We can only imagine how extra ordinarily tough things are for you. The sleepless nights, the pain and suffering, the anxiety and stress and all that goes with it. But my goodness how we can see the spiritual growth you are making. It goes way beyond us. All our love, our prayers and thoughts --- Mom & Dad
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