You know what??
Sometimes you wake up and wish the nightmare would go away. It stinks to feel like you've just been run over by a tractor, to have zero energy, to feel like barfing all the time, and to walk out in public and turn heads not because you're having an amazing hair day, but because you're bald. (I, on the other hand, see my daughter as drop dead gorgeous anyway.....)
All the SMELLS right now really bother Jess. She is super sensitive to every little smell and taste. MaKenna and I made a home made pesto sauce last night and added a little too much garlic. The smell overwhelmed our entire house for the day. Jessica was NOT impressed. Nor was she happy about it. All of us who ate the garlic Pesto have now taken on a new smell of our own this morning. Again......Jessica.....Not impressed by our trying new recipes. Everything to her right now really Just STINKS.
I've been trying to encourage Jessica to Write her own updates on here. After all, this is HER journey, not mine. She and I are pretty connected lately. We've been going through this together and I've really tried to tune in to her perspective. We lay in bed and talk and I feel like I have a small glimpse into her journey. Perhaps, she will write when she's up to it or when she can put into words what she's going through. It's tough.
Jessica's Journey has her in a Valley right now. She's discouraged by all the needles and poking and all the drugs that put her in such a depleted mode. Chemo really is toxic. It kills cancer cells, but it also wipes out the healthy cells. The body must fight to overcome the toxic barrage and once again stand on it's own. It's scary.
There are definite days when she leaves the happy face at home. But that's okay.
Like the video clip in the post below said, we can surely see the hand of the Lord in the everyday processes of life. He IS in it. He cares about the smallest details. He wants to support us and guide us and bless us. Sometimes we don't always pick up on his involvement until the moment is behind us.
We are so grateful for the good days, for the moments when living life isn't such a struggle, for a good night's sleep, for a meal that we didn't have to fix, for a smile or a visit, or a hug and especially for the distractions from the hard stuff that you all provide for us. Thanks.
We go back in to the Clinic on Friday for more labs. It's twice a week for labs for a while and a blood transfusion on Friday if the hemoglobin doesn't climb some more. We're just watching that. Chemo and Spinal at the ICU again on July 11th.
That's the plan, but as you know, it evolves from day to day.
Janet that was a very clever write up about your garlicy pesto meal. I laughed when I thought about how it affected everyone, accept Jessica of course. It made me think of a new diet they've come up with. It's called the garlic diet. You don't actually lose any weight but you do look a lot smaller from a distance. Well it is true some things just stink and what Jessica and you and your whole family are going through is definately one of those.
ReplyDeleteThinking of some things that just stink reminds me of the 19 years I worked at the Sugar Factory. The processing of sugar has a distinctive offensive aroma about it and I'd wear it home with me all the time. I'd get used to it and it wouldn't bother me too much but Loyia couldn't stand to have me around and wouldn't even let me in the house until I put all my clothes in the wash and showered 2 or 3 times and even then her super sensitive nose could still smell it on me.
Thank you Janet for this update on Jessica and you. Good luck with all the labs, transfusion, chemo treatments and spinals. Sure do love you dear and all of your family. You are in our every prayer --- Dad
Actually, It affected Jessica the most. That's why I said she was not impressed. She had a grumpy look on her face most of the afternoon until the smell in the house wore off. She is so sensitive to the tiniest little smells. That garlic pesto sauce was not tiny at all. It was a doosie and boy did she let us all know about it.
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