Unity again

Since this most chaotic spring and summer, we've had days where we didn't know which way was up. It's been a little bumpy to say the least. But we are back down on the ground and establishing routine once again. I'm thankful for that. However, we are now faced with the challenge of smoothing out the uneven edges that are left behind when your life gets turned upside down. During the couple of months where we were getting a diagnosis and having surgeries and starting treatments with Jessica, It was almost daily that we were the recipient of some amazing acts of kindness. Jessica got cards and letters, and posters from school. She opened presents almost everyday. She has been showered with hugs, and gifts. She will experience the granting of a unique wish from people who don't even know her. It's like she has won the lottery (to a 6 year old, anyway). Although cancer is NOT fun. It's scary and hard and nobody wants to loose their hair, their body shape, or wonder if they will have a future.

However, to some of our kids, all they see is that they have been shoved to the side. Jessica has had more one on one time with MOM than anyone in the family (probably including DAD) and she gets taken to lunch in Boise after labs and treatments. They see her be showered with love and kindness and gifts. She gets help with her chores and the whole family must take a back seat. The other day, our 6 year old asked, "mom, how do we get cancer?"

After recovering from my gasp, I probed him a bit more and he asked me another question that revealed why he asked the first. He said, "How come when I get sick, no one ever brings me presents?"

That was the day I stopped in my tracks and zoned in to what the entire rest of my family must have been feeling. I saw a sweet little sister already in the shadow of her older sister needing some one on one MOM time. I saw that the focus of our entire spring and summer was on only ONE member of our family...............and for good reason, but now there was this uneven shift that was uncomfortable and difficult to smooth over.

David and I have tried really hard to bring unity back to our family once again. We've tried to back off Jessica and take a bit of the focus off her and displace it out once again. I think even Jess appreciates it. No one wants to be doted over tirelessly, or stick out like a sore thumb.

For the most part, we remain optimistic. We turn most things over to the Lord to worry about, and we move forward. Each of us is unique and special. If I had time to put a blog together like this for each one of my children I would do it. Their life is every bit as significant as hers and they too have something wonderful and powerful to share with the world.

Cancer is one of those diseases that is always in the limelight. It gets so much attention. I'm not sure why that is. This summer our eyes have been opened to all the other people around us who suffer every bit as much or more and for many of them, their suffering goes on for a lifetime. We are committed to noticing, and succoring the ones who receive no heroistic praise, gifts, service or even a pat on the back. I'm not saying that we don't appreciate all that has been done for us, we do. But what I am saying is that it's so easy for us to see the infirmities of people with obvious suffering and run to their aid, but what about the one's who's suffering is in their head or their heart, or their past, or in secret or silence. Who is going to run to those people. My new goal is to see to it that I see the one's who suffer alone or silently and more evenly distribute the human kindness that should be available to us all when we need it. May we listen carefully to the impressions and promptings of the spirit and follow where HE leads. He is the ONLY one who knows our truest suffering and can bring people into our lives to lift us from it.