Beautiful

Some women feel that their feminine beauty hinges on how they look to the outside world. Hair, make-up, clothes, jewelry, body shape. This past month has drastically changed all of that for me. It's changed the way I see others and the way I see myself. I did something today that never in my wildest dreams did I ever picture myself doing with my daughter...........I shaved her head. I found myself wanting to bawl my eyes out. I longed to go back in time to the days when I would brush it and braid it and we would sit together and do our nails, our make-up or our hair. Jessica's hair was all but gone. We shaved what was left to get the shock of her appearance out of the way and in the past. Surprisingly, she took it very well. She said she felt happier that she had gotten that difficult step behind her. When I think of all that girl has faced and with the bravery and patience she has faced it with, I'm in awe. This girl with her bald head and puffy face and changing body is more beautiful to me now than she ever was before. Beautiful is as beautiful does. Jessica's beauty stems from who she is and it blossoms more and more through who she is becoming. Being beautiful has absolutely NOTHING to do with clothes, body shape, hair or makeup. It has everything to do with who we have molded ourselves to become in spite of what life has dealt us. THAT is real beauty. Anything other than that is shallow.
(sorry to have traumatized you today Alli. Hope you'll not be afraid to come over again.)

A side note about complaining:
Complaining: Over the past few weeks I've caught myself a bunch of times biting my tongue when I wanted so badly to complain about an achy back, a headache, hair that won't curl, or that is constantly thinning. When Jessica was in the hospital, and couldn't eat or drink for a week, I almost slipped and complained about being really thirsty one day. I stopped myself, realizing that right next to me was someone suffering way more than I was. It would have been a huge insult to complain in front of her. Then I realize that every single time I complain I risk insulting so many around me who are worse off. I remember 2 summers ago after an attack on my health coming really close to death. A few weeks later found myself sitting around a table with other women at a Mary Kay party. I remember listening to all the comments by the women about how they hated their noses or their hair or their wrinkles. I remember looking into my little pink mirror thinking to myself............."I am SO glad to be alive.....wrinkles and all."
Our complaining is offensive not only to God, but to those around us who are way worse off. There is always something to complain about. That's easy. The challenge is finding something in every moment to be grateful for.
I suddenly have the urge to go watch Pollyanna.